The Alice

An archetype for the Rogue class based on the Alice class from the Lamentations of the Flame Princess A Red and Pleasant Land campaign setting


Alices (when male: “Alistairs” or, of any gender: “Fools”) are unlike other adventurers in that they are actively sought by adventure. Alices forever find themselves falling into cursed rabbit holes, accidentally killing witches, having their half-brothers stolen by goblin kings, being willed magic rings, finding demons inserted in their chests, or having armored knights ride through their homes at bedtime. Obscure gods, however, sympathize with them (they are often born to powerful families), and an Alice is a boon to any adventuring party. Some Alices wear striped stockings, some Alistairs wear pointed shoes. Although they begin their adventures untrained and naive, Alices are fast learners, and high level Alices are known for their sagacity and cunning.

Alices act as rogues for all purposes except where described below:

Class Skills:
The Alice’s class skills are: Acrobatics (Dex), Appraise (Int), Bluff (Cha), Diplomacy (Cha), Disable Device (Dex), Disguise (Cha), Fly (Dex), Handle Animal (Cha), Heal (Wis), Knowledge [All] (Int), Linguistics (Int), Perception (Wis), Perform (Cha), Ride (Dex), Sense Motive (Wis), Sleight of Hand (Dex), Stealth (Dex), and Use Magic Device (Cha). These replace the class skills normally gained by the Rogue class.

Weapon and Armor Proficiencies:
The Alice is proficient with all Simple Weapons and all Light Martial Weapons. She is proficient with Light Armor, but not with shields. These replace the standard weapon and armor proficiencies gained by the Rogue class.

Exasperation (Su):
Starting at 1st level, in times of unusual stress Alices may become Exasperated. This Exasperation causes fate to take notice of the Alice, and then to aid her. The Alice says or thinks something like “Oh I can’t conceive how I ever fell into this deplorable circumstance!” or “We are indeed doomed and now birds will gnaw our eyes.” This ability replaces all instances of the rogue’s Sneak Attack ability.

An Alice may express Exasperation once per day at 1st level, and one additional time per day at 3rd level and every 3 levels thereafter (to a maximum of 7/day at 18th level). When the Alice becomes exasperated, the DM rolls 1d4 on the Exasperations Table below. This increases to 1d6 at 5th level, a d8 at 9th level, a d10 at 13th level, and a d12 at 17th level. Becoming Exasperated is a standard action that does not provoke attacks of opportunity.

Exasperations are supernatural effects. These can’t be disrupted in combat and generally don’t provoke attacks of opportunity. They aren’t subject to spell resistance, counterspells, or dispel magic, and don’t function in antimagic areas. Any saving throws required by an Exasperation are made against a DC equal to 10 + 1/2 the Alice’s level + the Alice’s Charisma modifier.

Die roll Exasperations
1 A door is revealed where none had previously been detected. This may appear in a wall, the side of a tree, on a rock, the backside of a very large monster, or anywhere else that it might be appropriate for a door to appear. This functions as a Dimension Door spell, leading to any location the DM feels appropriate so long as the destination is either: (a) relatively safe, or (b) plot-advancing.
2 The Alice realizes she has something in her pack, her hair, or otherwise secreted about her person. The object can be any non-magical and generic item (a key, not the key) that exists in the setting and that is small enough that the Alice could reasonably have it hidden it in her current condition. The Alice may choose what this is.
3 An ordinary animal of size small or smaller appears. This does not grant the Alice any ability to directly control or communicate with it, but the animal will not under any circumstances hurt the Alice.
4 A fact about the situation at hand occurs to the Alice—something she learned once in a lesson or in a kitchen or on a Sunday—a piece of local or monster lore germane to the situation.
5 One creature within the Alice’s line of sight immediately falls prone (no save). If the target creature is adjacent to a cliff, pit, body of water, or other hazard, they must succeed at a Reflex save or fall into said hazard.
6 The weather in the immediate area changes in a way decided by the Alice, as per the Control Weather spell.
7 One nearby creature is charmed by the Alice, as per the Charm Monster spell, for 1 hour per Alice level. A successful Will save negates the effect.
8 One device or object within the Alice’s line of sight immediately breaks, gaining the broken condition. Magical objects are allowed a Fortitude save to negate this effect.
9 Something not ordinarily able to talk (GM’s choice) begins to speak to the Alice. This functions similar to a Speak with Animals, Speak with Plants, or Stone Tell spell, lasting 1 minute per Alice level. The thing will be generally sympathetic and friendly towards the Alice, answering questions to the best of its ability and offering what advice it may.
10 All creatures present completely forget that the Alice is there for 1 round. They will cease all attacks against the Alice and treat the Alice as if she were invisible to them. After this time, the Alice functions as if under the effects of a Sanctuary spell for 1 round per Alice level.
11 Someone shows up to fetch the Alice out of her current predicament. If there is an obvious candidate from among the local NPCs (giant eagles, a friendly knight, etc.), that’s who it is, otherwise the GM should make up an appropriate executor. The NPC appears as close as plausible, arriving by whatever means of locomotion is available to them, and will act by whatever means are at their disposal to remove the Alice from her current situation (forcefully if necessary).
12 One creature that the Alice can see begins to shrink. Each round, the target decreases in size by 1 size category (as per the Reduce Person spell). The target continues to decrease in size at the start of the Alice’s turn, at the rate of 1 size category per round, until it has been reduced to Fine size (roughly the size of a playing card). Each round, the target is allowed a Will save to halt the size reduction. Once the shrinking halts, the creature will remain at its new size for 10 minutes per level of the Alice.

Alice Talents:
Starting at 2nd level, whenever the Alice would gain a new Rogue Talent, she must choose one of the following talents instead. This replaces the normal list of available Rogue Talents and Advanced Rogue Talents, but otherwise acts as that ability. If the Alice has a second archetype that adds additional options to the list of Rogue Talents, or requires a specific Rogue Talent to be taken, those talents are added to this list.

  • Alice was then reminded of something she’d noticed before…: The Alice gains a +1 Insight bonus on all saving throws.
  • Falling down wells really improves the hand-eye coordination.: The Alice gains double her normal Dexterity bonus on Dexterity-based skill checks.
  • She noticed the Red Knight always feinted to his left— she was a very perceptive girl.: The Alice can choose to observe a target as a standard action. For each round spent observing a single target, the Alice gains a +1d4 bonus on her next single attack roll or combat maneuver check made against the target (to a maximum of 1d4 per 2 Alice levels). If the Alice does not make an attack against the target, this bonus ends after 1 minute.
  • Alice liked pies, although sometimes people did not want her to have them.: The Alice gains a circumstance bonus equal to her Alice level on all skill checks made to locate or acquire foodstuffs of any kind (including Perception checks to locate food, Survival checks to forage, or even Sleight of Hand checks to steal food from a vendor’s cart). Note that potions and other consumables may count as “food” at the GM’s discretion.
  • She closed her eyes and said the words just as she’d been taught…: The Alice learns a single Sorcerer/Wizard spell of 1st level. This spell is usable once per day, and is cast at the Alice’s level. Any save DCs are Charisma-based. The Alice may take this Talent up to 8 times, each time learning a single spell of the next higher spell-level (to a maximum of 8th level).
  • Oh, I do so apologize…: The Alice gains the Improved Trip feat as a bonus feat. She does not need to meet the prerequisites for this feat.
  • Her sister had mentioned they were dreadful people…: The Alice gains a +2 bonus on all Knowledge (nobility) skill checks. In addition, the Alice can choose to be the cousin or niece or otherwise secondhand related to any single NPC encountered thereafter (this may not be an NPC that has been encountered previously). This Talent can be selected up to three times. This bonuses stack (to a maximum of +6) and each time the Alice can choose a new NPC to be distantly related to.
  • All that hiding in the dumbwaiter has finally paid off.: The Alice is exceptionally talented at learning secrets. Once per day, the Alice may attempt an Intelligence check (DC 10). If the check succeeds, the Alice can either identify a single magic item (as if she had succeeded at a spellcraft check) or learn a single embarrassing fact about an NPC (to be used however she decides). Player’s choice.
  • It seemed nearly everything was dangerous if handled improperly.: The Alice has become very skilled with improvised weapons. She gains Catch Off Guard as a bonus feat, and all improvised weapons she wields deal damage as if they were one size category larger.
  • It was very shiny and stuck out like a soup spoon…: The Alice gains Improved Steal as a bonus feat. She does not need to meet the prerequisites for this feat.
  • She was not such a mouse as she used to be.: The Alice gains a +1 increase to her Strength, Dexterity, or Constitution score. This operates just like the ability score increases gained every four levels. This talent may be taken up to three times, each time improving a different ability score.
  • Alice then did something quite astonishing…: The Alice is surprising. She adds her Charisma modifier to attack and damage rolls with all improvised weapons, and on all attacks made during a surprise round.
  • The blue one certainly did make the Alice taller, of that Alice was certain…: Craft (alchemy) becomes a class skill for the Alice. The Alice can use Craft (alchemy) to identify potions as if using detect magic, and gains a circumstance bonus equal to 1/2 her Alice level on such checks. She must hold the potion for 1 round to make such a check.
  • She could be very charming when she needed to be.: The Alice’s silver tongue gives her a +2 bonus on all Bluff and Diplomacy skill checks. This talent can be taken up to three times. The bonuses stack to a maximum of +6.
  • “It really was curious,” she thought— “How many times could this kind of thing happen?”: The Alice may escape a gruesome fate. Once per day, when the Alice would be reduced to 0 hit points or less by an attack, she can choose to be reduced to 1 hit point instead. The Alice immediately falls prone and is staggered for one round. The attacker must make a Sense Motive check (opposed by the Alice’s Bluff check) or assume that the Alice has been slain. This talent may selected more than once, each time granting an additional daily use of this ability.
  • She knew to curtsey at times like this, and so she did.: Despite the low company the Alice keeps, she’s been working on her manners. Members of the upper classes instinctively recognize the Alice as one of their own (even if she isn’t), and treat her as such. The Alice gains a +2 bonus on all Charisma-based skill checks when dealing with the nobility. In addition, this may grant her access to exclusive events or venues, increased access to centers of political power, etc.
  • It was so lovely, and—according to the book—it was right there.: The dress made of manticore-flesh, the house full of lilacs, the magical fish-gutting knife—whatever the thing that the Alice always wanted is, it’s there. Tell the GM what you want. He will immediately place it somewhere 4 adventuring sessions away or less. The Alice must have a fair shot at it (i.e. it will not be guarded by a monster of a CR twice your level or more), but there’s no guarantee the Alice will get it. This Talent may only be taken once and works only once. Think big.
  • She had not known her mother’s cousin very well, and decided that it was a bad thing that she had died…: The Alice has been willed 5,000 shillings worth of random mundane (nonmagical) objects. The player must immediately spend this cash on whatever items he desires, then inform the GM of what she bought. The items in question will be waiting for the PC at the next town she visits. This Talent may be taken more than once, but each such windfall is a one-time thing. With the GM’s permission, the windfall may take the form of deeds and titles to lands, ships, or buildings in the place of equipment.
  • They kept talking as though Alice was a rhododendron in a pot.: The Alice gains Advantage (roll twice and take the better result) on all Stealth skill checks.
  • She knew from school what the word meant, but did not know if it was rude or not.: The Alice gains a +2 bonus on all Linguistics skill checks, and learns 1 new language of her choice. This talent may be taken up to three times. The bonus to Linguistics stacks, to a maximum of +6.
  • Alice quite liked drawing, and had an impressive box of crayons at home.: The Alice gains Advantage (roll twice and take the better result) on all Linguistics skill checks made to create (but not detect) forgeries. In addition, Craft (painting) becomes a class skill for the Alice, and she gains Advantage on all Craft (painting) skill checks made to create artistic forgeries.
  • She thought it might be a saltcellar, or at least that seemed like a good word.: The Alice gains a circumstance bonus on Appraise skill checks equal to 1/2 her Alice level. On a successful Appraise check, not only does she learn the objects apparent value, but she is also immediately aware if the item is somehow not what it seems (such as a forgery, disguised, hollow, booby-trapped, etc.), though this will not reveal specifics about what may be different about the item.
  • She did seem to offend people (and animals) wherever she went.: The Alice has become adept at dueling. She gains weapon proficiency with the Rapier, Sword Cane, and Dueling Sword and gains Weapon Finesse as a bonus feat.
  • They all listened attentively as Alice told her tale.: The Alice gains a +1 increase to her Intelligence, Wisdom, or Charisma score. This operates just like the ability score increases gained every four levels. This talent may be taken up to three times, each time improving a different ability score.
  • They began to throw stones, and Alice began to avoid them.: The Alice gains a +2 dodge bonus to AC against ranged attacks (including ranged touch attacks), and a +2 dodge bonus on Reflex saving throws.
  • She began to feel somewhat neglected.: If the Alice takes the total defense action in a round and an opponent misses her with an attack roll, the Alice may make an immediate Disarm, Dirty Trick, Trip, or Steal combat maneuver against that opponent as an immediate action that does not provoke attacks of opportunity.
  • She tried to remember what she knew about stoats.: The Alice gains a bonus on Handle Animal skill checks equal to 1/2 her Alice level. She gains a similar bonus on Diplomacy skill checks made against animals and magical beasts of Intelligence 3 or greater with whom she shares a language.
  • Alice had seen so many unusual things lately, it had become usual.: Nothing phases the Alice any more. Even mind-altering cosmic horrors from the far edge of the cosmos are like whatever. She gains immunity to confusion and insanity effects.

Alice’s Edge:
At 7th level, the Alice masters a single skill beyond that skill’s normal boundaries. She gains the skill unlock powers for one skill of her choice as appropriate for her number of ranks in that skill. At 11th level, 15th, and 19th levels, she chooses an additional skill and gains skill unlock powers for that skill as well.

The Alice

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